One of my Uni roommates had a short stay at our Queanbeyan’s home about two weeks ago. We happened to talk over the religious stuff in some occassions, actually at least two times, but none of this led to a declaration on her current religious preference. However with the conversation went deeper and deeper, she told me she is a Christian now, after receiving a baptism during her studying in Hongkong. I felt myself like a big joke wasting all my time to explain to her why I don’t do the religious things, which I suppose, would not have been completely understood by her since she is standing somewhere else far from where I am standing. She stepped her one foot into the door to the heaven while I am going to the Hell.

As I know, she was a non-religious people just like me when we were at Uni 7 years ago. But she is a different person now, or maybe a better person, while I am still struggling with my sins, my vulgar body and soul, without a hope to get saved. It’s strange that I don’t feel sorry for myself, and I still respect her because there is nothing better than seeing a person with passion in their minds, no matter what the passion is. I appreciate that she tried her best not show too much eagerness to persuade me join them when we were together, even the last night before she left, she just asked me if I have several minutes to get alone with her before she went to the bed. I didn’t. I had many many spare “several minutes”, but I was scared to get into that room. For me, it’s a cage not a path to mental freedom. She didn’t say anything because she knows it for sure that there would be no use to just push me with a dry voice. She predicted that I have to go through this myself and then find the truth at last.

The last 5 minutes she spent with me was at the airport. She was sitting beside me and waiting for the call for the boarding. The last thing she said was like the following: “when you feel alone, try to take part in some Christian groups. It’s always good. You know, eating, laughing, talking, all is about some living stuff. However, you would find out one day that the small living stuff has gone,disappeared with the time passing by, while the big stuff about life stays in your heart and go with you in the rest of your life.” Her opinion about the living and the life did touch me for a time. I have to confess that it is the way I like to use to look at the world and explain people’s feelings, but that moment was very short. She’s gone, and I was back to a logical and realistic world soon after.

I don’t know, because I am not a big fan of any religions, but I believe in the existence of the God. I believe in souls, spirits and any forms that are above our material existence. I am just not sure if it is called Jesus, Buddha or Allah. I don’t like naming them. Also I have several problems left without being well solved, which halts me becoming a religious people.

1) Why does Jesus look like that? I mean a western people, dressing like a western, saying like a western and living in a typical western historic and cultural society. I am an oriental people. I can’t see it has anything to do with me.

2)Why are there so many different Christian denom in this world? If there is only one God, why bother making it so diverse? Does different demon mean the religious things are just the offspring of human’s selfish power battles. If it is the case, how many credits has been left in a religion?

I am sure Christian people would give me an answer since they have been questioned for thousands of years. Would there be any question that has not been raised? But I am not sure it would be a convincing answer or an answer I need.

Anyway, all the kindest regards to the God. Probably we are not qualified to discuss anything about him (or maybe her, who knows?) at all.