I had a nap after the lunch as I felt quite sleepy after a full meal. I thought I could easily fall asleep as long as I tucked myself into a warm quilt as the tiredness would take over for the rest. But I was wrong. I was struggling between my sub-consciousness and a clear contradiction of “I want to” and “why I can’t”. Well, at the end, I had to get up after one hour without any achievement, however feeling even more exhausted than before.

I wondered nowadays who can really affords a nap after the lunch. I never could. However, I was forced to have a nap when I was in primary school, when Dad came home and cooked for me at the lunch time. He looks like that sort of “nap” person. He can fall asleep in seconds, and get up in seconds after a hour’s sleep. I could have never done that. Why should I? I was young, energetic and worrying about not having enough time to carry out my duties of being young.

I hated sleep, from the very beginning, even back to the kindergarten time. Teachers over there were so sick. They put all the kids in a big bedroom where we were all required to fall asleep for 1-2 hours. If you didn’t, you were absolutely not a good kid. So most of the time, I was lying on the bed, closing my eyes, pretending that I was asleep. When the teacher came over to check one by one, normally I got passed But, I hated it, as it took me too much energy to prevent my closing eyes blinking. This is my physiological impair. I am sorry for myself as I can’t just fix it with any superorganicism

Now with I am getting older and older, sometimes, I really long for a good nap after the lunch or whenever I feel like it. Unfortunately my nerves never allow me to have a rest during the day time. There are too many thoughts in my head, and I am concerned about a bit of everything just too much. I can’t do a nap, I can’t do a hour, I can’t allow myself missing from this world for just a short while. Sleep is night’s treat and luxury. I felt so….