I was sitting there again!!! …Sorry for not giving you people the notice, but I am not here for killing and I hope you find a place to hide from me Well, after at least 5 months’ long break without touching the car even a bit, I am driving the thing on the road again, sweating all over the body, holding my breath tightly and staring at something ahead of me (The truth is I don’t really know what to look at) as if I am fighting the toughest enemies.

I was amazed to find that I didn’t really forget how to make the thing get moved, even this thing works like a tractor for me. It was like riding a big horse on the road. Luckily the horse was not going mad and completely out of the control, otherwise I would have had to dwell in my sorrow and guilt forever.

But it was very noisy, not the engine but my husband’s voice. I guess he must have hurt his throat badly as after we finished the driving practise, he said he can not afford coaching me again tomorrow. I can see how remarkably bad I have caused, otherwise he wouldn’t have had to do all the yelling and shouting things to me. I am sorry, my poor coach. And feel free to go for your rest, I wouldn’t mind because I also need to easy my nerves. Don’t worry about the classes. I would not be able to afford practising another a couple of hours tomorrow as well.

Anyway I practised for about two hours this morning and just didn’t know how I made it. I am trying to not think over it too much afterwards because more I think about it, more I feel frightened. I have completely realized how unsecure to live in this world. How would you know the cars passing by are not being driven by someones like me? The reason of that the cars haven’t got crashed or we haven’t got hit totally depends on the luck. They happened not to happen yet, but it doesn’t mean they wouldn’t happen forever.

Thanks the God! It was so nice to get off from the driver’s seat and back to my normal seat. I have to admit that It’s the most exhausting job I have ever done and only thinking of the potential possibility to become a road murder could make me scared to death.

I had a nap after the lunch, and I dreamed that I was driving the car approaching an intersection. I didn’t know where I should put my feet. Press the brake to slow down? or do something else? I was in a hurry-scurry. At last it turned out that I accidently put my foot on the accelerator and the car rushed towards the other side of the road……I woke up at this moment.