Not mentioning the feelings that the article itself had generated to its common readers, as a relative of the author, I noticed that he briefly wrote about some of his childhood experience with his grandparents (from his mother’s side). His description was so vivid that I felt like I can see the scenes in those sweating summer nights, hear his grandfather’s voice and smell the aroma of his grandmother’s cooking.

However, coming to the end of reading, I also realised that the grandparents he was talking about in that prose, are actually my grandparents as well. They are my father’s parents, and they are the people I have never met and will never meet in my life. Besides, neither did I get to meet my grandparents from my mom’s side.

Only now, I am meeting them on the paper……through the stories told by other people.

I feel a bit jealous. And, I was a bit annoyed by the fact that I didn’t have all these luxuries to enjoy the same sort of love from a grandparent, and I don’t have the fortune to call Yangzhou, a city where buried my grandparents and where my father was born, the home. I don’t know what my grandparents look like, or any stories of them. It’s like a missing piece of a big puzzle picture, I guess my connection to this historic place and that generation is just weak.

My parents are people who seldom look back or like to dwell in the memory, so we don’t talk much about the passing generation. According to what I heard, all four of them died in a quite old age, but as the youngest child of the youngest child in a family, the problem was I just came too late.I get called “aunt” by my nephew who is one and half years older than me, but it didn’t give me as much fun as I could have from a grandparent care.

Having a very simple family relationship for all my life, I know how it’s like “without” the presence of grandparents, but sometimes when people slipped out the words of “pop” or “nanny” in their conversation, I just can’t help imagining what it would like when there is the “with”….

Ugh, make sure you have baby young

Note: The above photo is from china.org.cn. Taken by Hu Zhenling at Slender West Lake in Yangzhou, Jiangsu Province, China.

我们花了差不多20分钟在电话上聊分娩过程，等到我挂上了电话才意识到几乎没有提到她刚生下来的宝贝女儿。我记得唯一的有关她的一句话好像是：根据Jessy妈妈的观点，她长得象她爸。哎～我怎么这么没礼貌！

带着点儿内疚，仔细想想，其实不是我不在意Jessy的孩子，只不过说真的，这孩子虽然从怀孕到生产我都关注着，但比起Jessy来，完全是另外一个领域的缘分——很遥远很遥远的缘分了。

那个十七八年前和我下午课间出去买冰棍吃的Jessy我认识的。后来就来了一个Juni，再后来又来了一个Elisia……队伍越来越庞大。而今当了妈的Jessy，在我眼里好像还是当年那个梳着辫子的Jessy。

可能在Jessy眼里所看到的我生活的变迁，对她来说也未必不是如此吧！

重要的是：我们，还活着；而在家乡鹅里和我们一起吃饭的梁老师，已经不在了。梁老师去年被诊断为肺癌后，也经历了许多和病魔做斗争的痛苦岁月。具体是怎样的，我想没有人真正地清楚。7月份见到他时，似乎病情已经得到控制，处于相对稳定的时期。当时还谈到一种英国制造的新药物，虽然昂贵无比，但可以算是一丝黑暗中令人期冀的希望。

没想到，事情发生得这么突然。梁老师那么好的一个人，那么勤奋、淡泊；黄老师人那么温婉、贤淑……现在却人隔两地！从重庆到北京，一起经历了多少人生的起伏，现在到老了，本来还可以再一起走个二、三十年的幸福日子，却突然一人撒手而去……

昔人已乘黄鹤去，此地空余黄鹤楼……想想，生命实在是太脆弱的一种东西。拥有它时，从来没有什么感觉；当它受到威胁时，才意识到它的存在。人都是要死的，可是人这一辈子，劳劳碌碌、忙这忙那，谁都没有过过几天轻松的日子。离去，对走的人是解脱，对活着的人是折磨。

说健康比什么都可贵，也说要珍惜。可是珍惜是可以学会的东西吗？死亡是可以通过搏击而阻止或延迟的现象吗？只能说是“人生苦短”，活着的人，活一天就好好地享受这一天的生命吧！

我在离家的前两站下了车，专门去好利来去买蛋糕。到了晚上六点半的时候，也不能期望有什么让人兴奋的蛋糕花样儿了。我最后选来选去，还是觉得黑森林是唯一让我有点儿食欲的。

到了七点多我姐夫来店里接我才回到家。吃过晚饭后点生日蜡烛、姐夫摄像，大家每人一大块。幸好人人都喜欢，觉得新鲜香甜，中间有一层冰冻的水果浆，感觉很爽口。折腾了这么久，看见人人喜欢，我也有点儿想头儿。

老公今天也四张儿了，和他这十二年，我是看着他，知道他肯定是老了。可要是拿他的年龄到外面去宣传，多数人都不信。总得来讲：他现在基本上还处于“狗尾巴草刷绿漆——装嫩”的阶段呢！我在想：等我四十的时候，我会变成啥样子？恐怕一定是老不喀嚓眼了吧？走一步看一部吧～

生日快乐！