I’ve been wanting to talk about my only survived fish for quite a long time. Another two died during their first two weeks of settling down in our fish bowl. We thought we looked after them well, but sadly they couldn’t make it. First was Da Hong (big red). S/he used to look like the strongest one among these three. S/he kept hitting the head against the gravels and glass wall, sometimes we can hear the terrible noise s/he made. S/he also ate more than other two and s/he looks very energetic and always hungry. The second was Xiao Er Hei (little Junior Black). No more than 5 days after Da Hong passes away, s/he died as well. There was no sign before its death. But with the previous Da Hong’s experience, I didn’t feel surprised at all. I found its body floating in the water, which shocked the hell of me. I couldn’t take its body out of the water, so I left it to my husband. S/he was a pretty fish, black, white and red spots on the body and active as well. I would never be able to figure out what had happened and what made him or her die, but after that, I was kind of looking forward to see the third one reaching the end of its life.

Amazingly, I didn’t see it. We got away to Sydney for 5 days during the Christmas time and we left our only fish Xiao Hong (Little Red) by itself. We put a block of food in the bowl and it will melt slowly to provide the food. On the fifth day after we got back, I didn’t want to check the fish because I thought s/he definitely won’t make it. S/he is the smallest and weakest one among three fishes. And if other two had died, how long could we expect her/him to live? I opened the door, and looked at the fish bowl from a distance as I didn’t want to get a shock look again. The fish was still there but wasn’t moving. I didn’t bother getting close to have a look then I announced to my husband that “the Little Red died as well”. A minute later, my husband personally got to the bowl and had his own look. He said “No, you were wrong.S/he is still alive….” Yes, he was right…s/he was still alive but looked dying and would certainly die in any minute. We changed the water immediately and fed her/her with the new flake of food right away. S/he was so motionless and weak that we both thought she probably wouldn’t last long.

For the next 10 days, s/he behaved the same, staying in one place forever without moving a bit even rolling its eyes like a submarine ship. We kept saying to ourselves “s/he is dying…s/he is dying…” and we anticipated it would happen any time. 10 days later, s/he didn’t die, instead of that, s/he became more energetic and active. S/he swims more, moves more, breathe more and probably eats more. Sometimes s/he still goes to his/her mediation and hides itself between plants, but this won’t last very long. S/he comes out seeking stimulation from outside. My husband likes to tap the bowl to have some interaction with it. S/he never looked panic or scared. She came closer to see what’s on. Last time I saw her/her ate a flying bug unfortunately fell into the surface of the water. S/he rushed up and swallowed it in a flash. I nearly died, not believing what I just saw.

I said to my husband that I never thought s/he would be the last one who survives. Probably this is something about “Taoism” that we have learned before but never applied it into the reality. Laozi said that “don’t be the prettiest, don’t be the biggest, don’t be the strongest, don’t be the highest and don’t be smartest or the most outstanding one, as you will end up much quicker than others.” This is not the best part of eastern philosophy, and this is totally against the western philosophy, but this stands the times.