I don’t want to wash those dirty dishes, especially after a long long day, or when I am in a bad mood or when the gloves break and I don’t have another pair to replace. I hate standing in front of the kitchen bench and spend a couple of hours to prepare a meal, and after that I still have to put my hands into the cold water to wash the dishes in the sink. I abolutely take no pleasure doing such things unless I am a masochist. But, did I say anything? Did I speak up for myself? No!!!! I didn’t.

I cook, I wash, I do the laundry, cleaning, bedding and other household chore all the time even when I am not feeling like to do them. Well, people keep asking you to do them favors, and it always would have been much more easier to just say “Yes” than giving them a cold cold “No”. Then you keep ignoring your feelings to make them not get disappointed about you, but at the end of the day, you lost your ability to refuse, and you also lost your ability to realise how uncomfortable to live in this way. You go completely numb.

One day, there is a man who suddenly asked you to tell him the truth all the time, what would you do? You don’t understand. You have already gotten used to telling the lies in your life, not only telling the lies to others, but also telling the lies to yourself. We are consistently being asked to be honest with others in our whole life, which has ran through our childhood, partnershiphood, marriagehood, parenthood and workhood. The request of being honest comes from Moms and Dads, teachers and friends, husbands and wives, workmates or employers, landlords or cashiers in the supermarket, even the strangers in the streets. My question is, how could a person be honest with others if they are completely not honest with themwelves?

Recently I read an article written by Frances Lefkowitz discussing the topic “Can we be honest” (click to read) and had a second thought on the issue of being honest. It takes a lot of courage to be honest with others. But more difficult thing is “Can we be honest with ourselves”.